Yeah. So onions are the only veg that can make you cry? WRONG. I threw a carrot in mums face. She's in tears.
I thought it would be best to get a quick blog post in before the year end, which is in about 10 hours time. Talk about leaving it til the last..... 10 hours? don't think that will quite catch on.
Christmas was better than last year. good presents, good food, some more good presents, more food. Bit of drink. More food. Slight indegestion. More food. Quick dump. Sleep.
K that kinda turned into a hour by hour breakdown rather than a re-cap.. but what the hell. Tis the season to be detailed.
OOH I've had Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 for like - ages now and I've ONLY JUST got into the multiplayer side of things. It is actually really good! (PSN ID: Pikari82)
So to wrap things up, just get some pretty paper, scissors and some selotape. Its really that simple.
Its obviously New Years Eve today - so if I remember anything about tonight, something will have gone seriously wrong. Can you pre-book ambulances these days?
Happy New Year people. Thanks for reading this year.
Look behind you!
Chris
Thursday 31 December 2009
Monday 30 November 2009
Top 20 Ways To Annoy People In a Lift
1)CRACK open your bag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air
in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting
off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you
Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re
one of THEM” – and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when someone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have
new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back
for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a
while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
Thats all your getting tonight folks.
And don't worry, I'm planning on being more spontaneous in the future.
Friday 27 November 2009
Free Thinking Cat Shits Outside the Box
This week has somewhat flown by. Had a top night out with Paramedic Dan (He's a Paramedic)(well in training)(well....) on Tuesday... followed by a good day out in Leicester shopping on Wednesday. However, that's when I started to develop this stupid cold I'm now nursing.
It's probably my own fault.. as I was out in the rain Tuesday night without adequate rain protection.
Also spent an evening at James' house playing Modern Warfare 2 on split screen co-op... which was awesome!
ANYWAY.. back on topic... thinking outside the box...
I'm bringing this up again, as I have thought this for a long period of time. I'm gonna talk about sexuality, and the powers of attraction. (Somewhat my area of expertise)
DISCLAIMER: Following this is a portrayal of potencially offensive stereo typing and pigeon holing, mixed in with homophobia and racism. Please do not carry on reading if you are a retard.
It would be safe to say, that in this world.. we have heterosexuals, and we have homosexuals. I don't believe there is such a thing as Nosexuals (people who don't fancy anything).. so I'm just running with these 2. For the sake of my arguement sounding valid, forget the existence of bisexuals (or the correct pronunciation : greedy fuckers)
Hetro people fancy the opposite sex...
or
Hetro people fancy people who are hetro..
Homo's fancy people of the same sex..
or
Homo people fancy people who are homo.
Are you with me so far? good.
no? then read it again, fuck sake.
Anyways.. looking at my last point there, homo's fancying homos. Does this make it possible for a gay guy to fancy a gay woman? and vice versa? I think its totally possible. The only thing I can't get my head round is how they would, you know. Do it.
I mean, lesbians use dildos even though they chose chuff over wood.
So, potentially, there could be a 'strap on up the trumpet' scenario that's totally possible.
I think I need to stop thinking about this now. Please feel free to leave a comment, unless its something that disproves my theory.
Tuesday 17 November 2009
Climate change is REAL
I reckon there's truth in this whole climate change, save the planet stuff. 4 Months ago it was really warm, and now its fucking freezing.
The Railway station for the town I live in is a complete joke. It looks like something out of the 1920's. There are 2 platforms, 1 of which contains a ticket office that is open 24/7.
When I say 24/7 I mean 24 minutes a day, 7 days a year.
If you ever travel from Melton to any other destination, you are pretty much guaranteed a bollocking from the train conductor as your supposed to buy before you get on the train etc etc.
The other platform has a few seats, and a few doors and windows which lead to.... absolutely nothing. Its literally a fake wall now. With fake doors and windows. Apparently there used to be waiting rooms there or something. Probably for people waiting for the fucking ticket office to open.
So, why am I talking about a train station? Well, it's because there was an article in the news today about Britains worst train stations, and mine wasn't on the list. So I got angry.
Speaking of 24/7, I was reading a story about the failed terrorist bombers that happened back on 21st July, or the 21/7 bombers. Someone made a point that they should of waited a few more days, til the 24th. That way, no matter the success of their operation, they would go on to be known as the 24/7 bombers. This would imply that they blow things up all day everyday. And despite their actual lack of success, it would of made it at least seem like they were good at bombing.
I also read somewhere in a different story that a TA soldier 'blogged about not having enough equipment'. That made me laugh, how he can blog about that. Surely if he got into trouble, he could just post a twitter note 'John is being shot at. Help.'
Don't take that too seriously - I have the up most respect for everyone in the forces and they *should* have all the equipment they need to do the job they are sent out to do.
IN OTHER NEWS
Swindon is going to be the first town/city in the UK to get full 'free' Wi-Fi coverage.
I've used wi-fi a couple of times, like when I've been in a weatherspoons or something. Is this a good thing? I don't know. I guess from a security side it would be. Everytime I disable the security on my home router, someone tries to connect to it within minutes.
But would people cancel their internet subscriptions at home? If I got a decent Wi-Fi signal at home I wouldnt see the need to pay another company for a personal connection.
My mobile phone is due for renewal this month. I had contemplated jumping on the IPHONE bandwagon, but I just can't do that to myself. Apparently virus's are starting to infect some iphones aswell - although I did hear it was only cracked/unlocked phones that have been hit so far. lol@them.
Here's a good idea if you are going bowling soon, Its completely childish of course.
Next time you are typing your scoreboard name in, make it '3 Testicles'.
That way, at some point if you are half decent... you should get a screen message:
'Congratulations 3 Testicles, you got a Spare!'
Hmm, so yeah, that about wraps up one of my first blogs that is focused on my thoughts of a few news stories. Should I do this more or not? No I didn't think so.
I keep getting emails from a 'Bored Housewife' looking for some action. I've sent her a load ironing that I need doing. Should keep her quiet for a while.
Sunday 8 November 2009
Yep, so.... yeah. Looking forward to that. Sure.
After a rather chuckle worthy phone call earlier to a particular female relative, where I blatantly made my wanting to end the call a little to blatently, it got me thinking about other good ways to end a telephone call, with or without upsetting the other phone user, and also trying to see if I can make this sentence any harder to read, as I'm just using comma's, instead of full stops. Ah there it is.
After thinking about it for some time - I came to find that there isn't really many great ways.
Well, there might be, but I just can't think of many.
SO
Instead, I* decided to come up with some different ways to end emails. Other than the typical 'Regards,' etc.
*When I say I, I mean I'm copying what I've found elsewhere.
Regards,
Chris
Thanks,
Chris
Eat a bushel of penis,
Chris
Love and sphincters,
Chris
Remind me to gargle,
Chris
Fondling,
Chris
BOOOYYAAAA!
Everything above is a lie,
Chris
Conversation Terminated.
Stay Black,
Chris
The man, the myth, the legend.
Chris
Disregard that, I suck cocks,
Chris
In conclusion, girls are "icky".
Chris
May you bathe in the blood of your enemies,
Chris
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but several electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Look behind you,
Chris
Love and other indoor sports,
Chris
Relentlessly,
Chris
There are some examples. Another great way to end an email, is to just end it mid sentance. Its really great because it makes you seem mysterious and people will always
After thinking about it for some time - I came to find that there isn't really many great ways.
Well, there might be, but I just can't think of many.
SO
Instead, I* decided to come up with some different ways to end emails. Other than the typical 'Regards,' etc.
*When I say I, I mean I'm copying what I've found elsewhere.
Regards,
Chris
Thanks,
Chris
Eat a bushel of penis,
Chris
Love and sphincters,
Chris
Remind me to gargle,
Chris
Fondling,
Chris
BOOOYYAAAA!
Everything above is a lie,
Chris
Conversation Terminated.
Stay Black,
Chris
The man, the myth, the legend.
Chris
Disregard that, I suck cocks,
Chris
In conclusion, girls are "icky".
Chris
May you bathe in the blood of your enemies,
Chris
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, but several electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Look behind you,
Chris
Love and other indoor sports,
Chris
Relentlessly,
Chris
There are some examples. Another great way to end an email, is to just end it mid sentance. Its really great because it makes you seem mysterious and people will always
Saturday 7 November 2009
Thats Levitation Homes...
So went to see 'The Fourth Kind' last night.
I must admit I was kinda dissapointed. I saw the trailer and it looked like a really creepy scary film. However, all the freakish scenes had already been glimpsed at in the trailer. So every time a patient went under hypnosis, I kinda new what to expect. I had hoped that there was stuff I hadn't seen... but no.
There was one big Jump/Scare scene in the film, that did pretty much get the whole audience. I was sat next to Calum, and to say that it made him jump like a girl ... would be a crime.
Calum jumped, like a 23 year old male. As in - a 23 year old male who didn't go in to the film expecting to jump. I'm glad he wasn't holding any liquids in his hands, put it that way.
ANYWAY... If you are wanting to go see something scary any time soon - skip this and don't bother with SAW four thousand and fifteen either.
Wait and go see Paranormal Activity, which is much better and creepier.
Anyways. Had a big takeaway the other night with my mum. Kinda ordered a bit too much - eyes too big for my belly like. And I tell you - I have big fucking eyes.
Soooo I finished half way through knowing I was full to the brim, and Mum being Mum said how it was such a waste, and starving kids in Africa would crawl over broken glass to have a meal like that.
Which gives me an idea for a new game show...
Sunday 1 November 2009
I posted this blog 3 weeks ago..
Fucking Royal Mail.
I havent posted for a while as I've been lucky enough to join up with a group of mates who were planning on backpacking through Europe for 6 weeks, so I havent been at a computer.
Ok, that was a lie, I just couldn't be fucked to post. Now please, it's nothing to do with you guys n gals who read this... I can just on occasion be really fucking lazy.
When I say on occasion I mean all the time.
Anyways, rather than just make excuses I ought to say something cool or funny.
The lady who lives next door is bulimic. She was being really noisy last night when I got home from work. I banged on the wall yelled to her to keep it down.
So, work wise, I had a great September. Plenty of cars sold, lots of money earned. October wasn't so busy but still good enough.
Helped pilot move into his new place in Ely, near Cambridge. So far had 1 mega night out over there, looking forward to many more.
Following on from my last blog, Final Destination 3D was shite, District 9 was ace. Avatar is looking lush and so is a film called 'Ninja Assassins'. Its about Ninjas.
I havent posted for a while as I've been lucky enough to join up with a group of mates who were planning on backpacking through Europe for 6 weeks, so I havent been at a computer.
Ok, that was a lie, I just couldn't be fucked to post. Now please, it's nothing to do with you guys n gals who read this... I can just on occasion be really fucking lazy.
When I say on occasion I mean all the time.
Anyways, rather than just make excuses I ought to say something cool or funny.
The lady who lives next door is bulimic. She was being really noisy last night when I got home from work. I banged on the wall yelled to her to keep it down.
So, work wise, I had a great September. Plenty of cars sold, lots of money earned. October wasn't so busy but still good enough.
Helped pilot move into his new place in Ely, near Cambridge. So far had 1 mega night out over there, looking forward to many more.
Following on from my last blog, Final Destination 3D was shite, District 9 was ace. Avatar is looking lush and so is a film called 'Ninja Assassins'. Its about Ninjas.
Saturday 5 September 2009
Another readers letter..
.. but not one of my readers. I'm very glad I wasn't the initial recipient of this letter. Its quite long, but trust me. lolGOLD.
"When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.
I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.
Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.
I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.
Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.
She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I fuckin' love women.
So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.
She stuck her finger up my ass.
My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.
I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.
No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.
And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.
I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin.
I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.
Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my shit had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.
I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.
I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.
Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHITT!". It was one of those moments.
The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.
I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.
Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me."
Been a while since I laughed that hard. Hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did.
"When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.
I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.
Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.
I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.
Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.
She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I fuckin' love women.
So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.
She stuck her finger up my ass.
My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.
I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.
No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.
And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.
I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin.
I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.
Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my shit had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.
I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.
I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.
Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHITT!". It was one of those moments.
The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.
I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.
Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me."
Been a while since I laughed that hard. Hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did.
Wednesday 26 August 2009
Shit the bed.
No I'm not going to fucking explain why I havent posted for ages. Mind yer own bastard business.
I'm 27 on monday so get me a present.
Ummm. I have a girlfriend, she's really awesome but I'm keeping her to myself for now, not sharing her with you lot just yet.
I went to Alton Towers during my week off. OH YEAH BTW I had a week off?
Alton Towers was mint - stayed in York with Benji for a few days before and after. Always love going up there.
Jenks and Dan are moving back locally - ish. Gonna be good to have all my close mates within driving distance again!! Cant wait! Jenks is moving to near Cambridge - so looking forward to some early doors lash there.
I went to see Inglorious Basterds, was bloody brilliant. Literally - bloody.
Best Tarantino film I've seen since Pulp I'd say. Pulp, Dogs and this are the best. Awesome stuff.
Hopefully gonna catch the new Final Destination flick this weekend. Then District 9 sometime the week after. Watch them.
I've started to follow another blog aswell. Its good and funny. I say Hi to the writer of it now. Hi (",)
laterz
I'm 27 on monday so get me a present.
Ummm. I have a girlfriend, she's really awesome but I'm keeping her to myself for now, not sharing her with you lot just yet.
I went to Alton Towers during my week off. OH YEAH BTW I had a week off?
Alton Towers was mint - stayed in York with Benji for a few days before and after. Always love going up there.
Jenks and Dan are moving back locally - ish. Gonna be good to have all my close mates within driving distance again!! Cant wait! Jenks is moving to near Cambridge - so looking forward to some early doors lash there.
I went to see Inglorious Basterds, was bloody brilliant. Literally - bloody.
Best Tarantino film I've seen since Pulp I'd say. Pulp, Dogs and this are the best. Awesome stuff.
Hopefully gonna catch the new Final Destination flick this weekend. Then District 9 sometime the week after. Watch them.
I've started to follow another blog aswell. Its good and funny. I say Hi to the writer of it now. Hi (",)
laterz
Friday 17 July 2009
the power of dreams...
Thats Honda's main tag line, and surprisingly I didn't see it hardly anywhere down at the Honda Institute today, where me and a few work PALS attended the 'Summer Inspiration' course.
Calum had pre warned me last night that he doubted his ability to wake up at 5am in time to get ready and pick me up for 6am, based on the fact he was half way through getting shit faced in G town.
So, the good friend I am, set my alarm half hour early to make sure I would be up early enough to give C to the V a wake up call.
5am comes around, so I decided to drop in a text. 20 mins later and no reply. I call him and no answer. I start making plans to just go without him, but he finally makes contact... blaming his non answering on taking a dump and ironing his shirt. Which is obviously bullshit cos no one ever irons stuff while having a poo?
The journey down there had 1 eventful occurance, some dude in a beat up old car going at it hammer n balls in the fast lane... and as he passed our vehicle, something in the engine blew and half of it came out through the back of the car, and with some technical driving brilliance from the Venn, he didn't hit anything.
But we did laugh and point at the bellend in the broken car as we went past him.
The Institue is just south of Slough, West London. It feels like its in the middle of nowhere on a dirty scrutty industrial estate, but it is infact just a stones throw away from the M25.
The individual classes we took were all ok I suppose, learnt a few bits here and there.
Catering was unusually appauling though, with crappy child portion size rolls and cheese and biscuits for LUNCH. They normally do hot food. Gutted.
We made up for it though by having a BK on the way back. Just so shit that the whole day has been so long. Literally got home at about 7.45pm. Its a fooking long day with 5hours + of driving AND trying to take in 5 hours of lectures.
On a movie note - everyone should go check out the film 'MOON' this weekend. It stars Sam Rockwell, playing a guy who mans a space station on the moon, and weird things start to happen!!! OOOH. OH and Kevn Spacey voices the A.I. Computer that helps the main character run the station.
Calum had pre warned me last night that he doubted his ability to wake up at 5am in time to get ready and pick me up for 6am, based on the fact he was half way through getting shit faced in G town.
So, the good friend I am, set my alarm half hour early to make sure I would be up early enough to give C to the V a wake up call.
5am comes around, so I decided to drop in a text. 20 mins later and no reply. I call him and no answer. I start making plans to just go without him, but he finally makes contact... blaming his non answering on taking a dump and ironing his shirt. Which is obviously bullshit cos no one ever irons stuff while having a poo?
The journey down there had 1 eventful occurance, some dude in a beat up old car going at it hammer n balls in the fast lane... and as he passed our vehicle, something in the engine blew and half of it came out through the back of the car, and with some technical driving brilliance from the Venn, he didn't hit anything.
But we did laugh and point at the bellend in the broken car as we went past him.
The Institue is just south of Slough, West London. It feels like its in the middle of nowhere on a dirty scrutty industrial estate, but it is infact just a stones throw away from the M25.
The individual classes we took were all ok I suppose, learnt a few bits here and there.
Catering was unusually appauling though, with crappy child portion size rolls and cheese and biscuits for LUNCH. They normally do hot food. Gutted.
We made up for it though by having a BK on the way back. Just so shit that the whole day has been so long. Literally got home at about 7.45pm. Its a fooking long day with 5hours + of driving AND trying to take in 5 hours of lectures.
On a movie note - everyone should go check out the film 'MOON' this weekend. It stars Sam Rockwell, playing a guy who mans a space station on the moon, and weird things start to happen!!! OOOH. OH and Kevn Spacey voices the A.I. Computer that helps the main character run the station.
Monday 13 July 2009
part two.. edinburgh..
6 fucking months and it was finally the day we were going to Edinburgh.
Feeling pretty impressed with myself that I remembered to drink 65 gallons of water b4 I went sleep, my hangover was pretty much non existent from the night before.
After waiting for Dan to get his ass into gear, we set off about 8.30am.
The M6 was pretty much fine all the way up. There's plenty to look at pretty much the whole way, The Lakes on your left, Penines on your right. Then when your into Scotland, its just breath taking.
We got into the city just gone midday, found some parking and went to a spot where we could meet Jenks. He showed up about 1 ish, hanging from the night before. We rolled into a really nice place called 'All Bar One' on George Street. We all had a burger of some sort which was lush.
Next, we grabbed the keys to our apartments and parked up nearby.
The apartments were smallish, like premium student accomadation size, all mod cons etc. Really nice balcony and easy access to next door with a hop over the rails.
Only 1 problem, the bastards had not cleaned mine and Tony's room. Nor was there any fresh linen or towels. Gutted.
I soon phoned them up and they said they'd have people over in no time.
Jenks was nice enough to throw us their small hand towels incase we wanted to start getting ready. He's a pilot by the way. And a bellend.
Now, unfortunately, Tony decided that he didn't want to wait for the cleaners to arrive, and just got in the shower anyway, knowing full well he only had the hand towel to dry himself off.
Now, the most disturbing thing about this picture ISN'T the fact that Tony has his ass out, NOR IS IT that I have taken a picture of it.
The most disturbing thing is that, to put the photo on here and not cause a stir, I had to PHOTOSHOP out his johnson.
I stayed patient and waited until the apartment staff brought fresh linen round. We all got ready, had a very brief meeting on the balcony and set off into town.
We went to a LOT of bars. I was supposed to be taking photos of every bar we went in, but I took fuck all of any. Jenks ended up with the most expensive round of the night, coming to just under 30 notes for 4 drinks.
To be fair, they were cocktails, and there was a LOT of alcohol in them.
Edinburgh is fucking gorgeous. Its so strange being in a city, then all of a sudden there's this massive castle up high towering above you.
But, fuck me is it hilly. I had heard from the likes of Lee Evans that the place was hill crazy. There are a lot of steps and steep alleyways all over the place.
At one point, we needed to get to this low level street, and we found this crazy spiral stair case to get there. Sneath leaped onto the stair well at full running speed, followed by the rest of us.
We thought it would only be a couple of flights to navigate, and Jenks started howling out at the top of his voice the Hawaii 5-O theme tune.
We must of nearly all broke our legs multiple times, and we just kept going and going, the stairs were fucking never ending!
Jenks finished the whole song and started again before we got to the bottom. The thing I found most hilarious is that this whole stair well had windows, and the bellowing noise coming from Jenks and dispersed out into the streets below, and once at the bottom of the stair well, we were greeted with a good 20-25 people who had stopped, wondering WHAT THE FUCK was coming down these stairs.
One awesome bar we found ourselves in was a proper old traditional Scottish pub, I think it was called the 'Scotsmans Lounge'. They had a scottish guitar/violin duo band playing live which were really really good. We ended up getting 3 of their CD's as we thought it would be a good reminder of our weekend, and something to listen to on the way home.
Not exactly sure if my order of bars attended is correct, but next we found ourselves in a pretty cool Sports bar that had a Playstation 2 on EVERY table in there, with fifa and the likes set up ready to play instantly.
This is where I finally found the drink I had been told to find and try out, called Baby Guiness. Its actually really nice, a shot of black sambucca topped with baileys. The baileys floats on top so the small shot actually looks like a little glass of guiness.
As the shots were out, I decided that now would be the most appropriate time to crack out our toilet game. And yes, this time we have photo evidence. Cover your eyes if you are easily offended!
Yup, there's some ass right there. I didn't notice til the morning after that Jenks is indeed blatantly gorking at Tonys jewells.
Here is Jenks, during an invasion of a Hen party. Stole the bride to be's tiara thingy and leg thingy. Thingy thingies.
I caught him dancing on a table aswell, all part of a dare. By the time I stopped laughing and got my camera out it was too late. SADFACE.
It was starting to get pretty late now, and we found ourselves at a club that we had managed to get into as VIPs. However, it turned out to just be a con, as the place was pretty much empty, and the VIP bar we got access to was more expenive than the other bars? GAY.
Turns out this weekend was also Tea in the Park, so this was the reason why all the clubs were a little quieter than usual.
We decided to call it a night and head back. Got ourselves a bit of food and walked the short distance. It had been a great night.
Ah yes. Another Jenkins special. Any lift we get in, he presses every fucking button. A 20 second lift ride turns into a 15 minute beat the shit out of a pilot game.
Tony was acting scared that I was gonna keep touching him all night as we were sharing a bed.
"calm down, lets not turn this rape into a murder."
He had nothing to worry about, I had my trusty sleeping bag to prevent any skin contact.
I knew next door Dan and Jenks had a trusty proven Erection Barrier set up in place. For those who dont know, this is a duvet/pillow arrangement down the centre of the bed to prevent accidental genital touching of any kind.
This was the scene when I ninja'd over the balcony rails and sneaked in through the balcony door. Dan later revealed that he had renamed the anti erection barrier that night, to the:
Anti -Stop fucking hugging me - barrier.
lol
I made a lot of noise and got the V's flicked at me once or twice, but about 8.15 is we were all up and sat having black tea / coffee in Dan and Jenks' room. We rofl'd at all the pictures we had taken of the previous 2 nites.
This is one of the parts of our weekend that I love, just relaxing and remenissing of the events unfolded.
We rocked into town about 10am and found a place called 'The Filling Station' that did traditional Scottish and English breakfasts. It was immense. By the time we had finished, it was pushing 11.30 am. Tony and I were still facing a good 6 hour drive back home, with a stop off in Liverpool en route to bin Dan.
We decided to call it and we headed our seperate ways. I took loads of photos on the way back as Dan and Tony had taken on the initial 4 hour trek to Liverpool as named drivers, and I would pilot the last stage back to Melton.
Dan has a few photos aswell but you will be able to catch them and more of mine on facebook.
It was a fantastic weekend. Was sooo funny, and I loved spending every minute with you guys. I don't want to have to wait that long again for it.
EDINBURGH: DONE
Feeling pretty impressed with myself that I remembered to drink 65 gallons of water b4 I went sleep, my hangover was pretty much non existent from the night before.
After waiting for Dan to get his ass into gear, we set off about 8.30am.
The M6 was pretty much fine all the way up. There's plenty to look at pretty much the whole way, The Lakes on your left, Penines on your right. Then when your into Scotland, its just breath taking.
We got into the city just gone midday, found some parking and went to a spot where we could meet Jenks. He showed up about 1 ish, hanging from the night before. We rolled into a really nice place called 'All Bar One' on George Street. We all had a burger of some sort which was lush.
Next, we grabbed the keys to our apartments and parked up nearby.
The apartments were smallish, like premium student accomadation size, all mod cons etc. Really nice balcony and easy access to next door with a hop over the rails.
Only 1 problem, the bastards had not cleaned mine and Tony's room. Nor was there any fresh linen or towels. Gutted.
I soon phoned them up and they said they'd have people over in no time.
Jenks was nice enough to throw us their small hand towels incase we wanted to start getting ready. He's a pilot by the way. And a bellend.
Now, unfortunately, Tony decided that he didn't want to wait for the cleaners to arrive, and just got in the shower anyway, knowing full well he only had the hand towel to dry himself off.
Now, the most disturbing thing about this picture ISN'T the fact that Tony has his ass out, NOR IS IT that I have taken a picture of it.
The most disturbing thing is that, to put the photo on here and not cause a stir, I had to PHOTOSHOP out his johnson.
I stayed patient and waited until the apartment staff brought fresh linen round. We all got ready, had a very brief meeting on the balcony and set off into town.
We went to a LOT of bars. I was supposed to be taking photos of every bar we went in, but I took fuck all of any. Jenks ended up with the most expensive round of the night, coming to just under 30 notes for 4 drinks.
To be fair, they were cocktails, and there was a LOT of alcohol in them.
Edinburgh is fucking gorgeous. Its so strange being in a city, then all of a sudden there's this massive castle up high towering above you.
But, fuck me is it hilly. I had heard from the likes of Lee Evans that the place was hill crazy. There are a lot of steps and steep alleyways all over the place.
At one point, we needed to get to this low level street, and we found this crazy spiral stair case to get there. Sneath leaped onto the stair well at full running speed, followed by the rest of us.
We thought it would only be a couple of flights to navigate, and Jenks started howling out at the top of his voice the Hawaii 5-O theme tune.
We must of nearly all broke our legs multiple times, and we just kept going and going, the stairs were fucking never ending!
Jenks finished the whole song and started again before we got to the bottom. The thing I found most hilarious is that this whole stair well had windows, and the bellowing noise coming from Jenks and dispersed out into the streets below, and once at the bottom of the stair well, we were greeted with a good 20-25 people who had stopped, wondering WHAT THE FUCK was coming down these stairs.
One awesome bar we found ourselves in was a proper old traditional Scottish pub, I think it was called the 'Scotsmans Lounge'. They had a scottish guitar/violin duo band playing live which were really really good. We ended up getting 3 of their CD's as we thought it would be a good reminder of our weekend, and something to listen to on the way home.
Not exactly sure if my order of bars attended is correct, but next we found ourselves in a pretty cool Sports bar that had a Playstation 2 on EVERY table in there, with fifa and the likes set up ready to play instantly.
This is where I finally found the drink I had been told to find and try out, called Baby Guiness. Its actually really nice, a shot of black sambucca topped with baileys. The baileys floats on top so the small shot actually looks like a little glass of guiness.
As the shots were out, I decided that now would be the most appropriate time to crack out our toilet game. And yes, this time we have photo evidence. Cover your eyes if you are easily offended!
Yup, there's some ass right there. I didn't notice til the morning after that Jenks is indeed blatantly gorking at Tonys jewells.
Here is Jenks, during an invasion of a Hen party. Stole the bride to be's tiara thingy and leg thingy. Thingy thingies.
I caught him dancing on a table aswell, all part of a dare. By the time I stopped laughing and got my camera out it was too late. SADFACE.
It was starting to get pretty late now, and we found ourselves at a club that we had managed to get into as VIPs. However, it turned out to just be a con, as the place was pretty much empty, and the VIP bar we got access to was more expenive than the other bars? GAY.
Turns out this weekend was also Tea in the Park, so this was the reason why all the clubs were a little quieter than usual.
We decided to call it a night and head back. Got ourselves a bit of food and walked the short distance. It had been a great night.
Ah yes. Another Jenkins special. Any lift we get in, he presses every fucking button. A 20 second lift ride turns into a 15 minute beat the shit out of a pilot game.
Tony was acting scared that I was gonna keep touching him all night as we were sharing a bed.
"calm down, lets not turn this rape into a murder."
He had nothing to worry about, I had my trusty sleeping bag to prevent any skin contact.
I knew next door Dan and Jenks had a trusty proven Erection Barrier set up in place. For those who dont know, this is a duvet/pillow arrangement down the centre of the bed to prevent accidental genital touching of any kind.
This was the scene when I ninja'd over the balcony rails and sneaked in through the balcony door. Dan later revealed that he had renamed the anti erection barrier that night, to the:
Anti -Stop fucking hugging me - barrier.
lol
I made a lot of noise and got the V's flicked at me once or twice, but about 8.15 is we were all up and sat having black tea / coffee in Dan and Jenks' room. We rofl'd at all the pictures we had taken of the previous 2 nites.
This is one of the parts of our weekend that I love, just relaxing and remenissing of the events unfolded.
We rocked into town about 10am and found a place called 'The Filling Station' that did traditional Scottish and English breakfasts. It was immense. By the time we had finished, it was pushing 11.30 am. Tony and I were still facing a good 6 hour drive back home, with a stop off in Liverpool en route to bin Dan.
We decided to call it and we headed our seperate ways. I took loads of photos on the way back as Dan and Tony had taken on the initial 4 hour trek to Liverpool as named drivers, and I would pilot the last stage back to Melton.
Dan has a few photos aswell but you will be able to catch them and more of mine on facebook.
It was a fantastic weekend. Was sooo funny, and I loved spending every minute with you guys. I don't want to have to wait that long again for it.
EDINBURGH: DONE
Sunday 12 July 2009
part one.. just a quiet one? sure
Wow, so much to tell you about. Splitting this into 2 parts for you to digest easier.
In the next few paragraphs, I'm going to try and explain how I went from "Ok, so, Curry, then a couple of beers and up early for edinburgh"... to being propositioned by a prostitute at 2am.
So, Tony finished work earlier than anticipated, and we agreed to blast off at 2pm. The journey up there was pretty uneventful, just mainly me giving Tony some belly laughs at my recent failings with women.
The M6 turned into a bitch on the last stretch with paranoid cock ends braking for no reason and causing everyone else to brake and slow the whole motorway down. But all in all, we didnt do too bad and got there in about 2 and a half hours.
Dan rustled up a nice Chicken Balti + Naan for us all which was awesome, even if I dropped most down my fucking white top. Best of all though was the bottle of Lambrini he had got in. Legendary.
Now all you tossers saying 'Oooh lambrini girls are we?' Well let me remind you, the slogan goes 'Lambrini girls just wanna have fun'. YES it does say girls. But 'Lambrini guys just wanna get shitfaced quick at home'.
Tony was well up for a strong night out, but after I reminded him of the intended plan of leaving early doors saturday to get to Edinburgh, we quickly realised that it would be better to stay in or just take it easy.
Fast forward 2 hours and we're completly shit faced in an 80s bar. That went well then.
Before this, we did actually manage a couple of hours of responsible drinking, went to a few bars in the centre and then headed down to the gorgeous and trendy Albert Docks. This is a picture of the entrance I took 7 months ago on New Years Eve.
After being in a few places, it became quite clear that we were going to stay on it and get smashed.
There were a lot girls out who were ridiculously covered in fake tan. It was outrageous. However, I landed myself in it with this the first of many great quotes of the weekend:
Me - Shit me, talk about going overboard with fake tan?
Tony - Mate shes half cast?
So, as usual when we are blazing, we decided to find somewhere to have a dance. We are massive fans of Reflex bars, so when we were walking down a street and a girl pounced on us telling us the bar she worked for was having a special offer on drinks AND it was 80's themed, we bowled in.
Buy 1 get one free on VK's was the offer, so we got quite a few of them in.
We must of been one of the youngest groups in there. The place was mainly full of the older generation. At first we were a bit worried but it was blantantly obvious we were the best looking bastards there. So we stayed. LOL
I had this idea when I took a pervy voyer shot of this ridiculous womans crotch. Judge me if you want, I did it cos its fucking funny.
Oh yes, the classic dance moves were there. Bad spins, leeshes, mardy dancing and even a new move called the butterfly net that I came up with.
We also tried to Photo bomb a big group of girls. They were a bright bunch and one of them saw me trying to ninja around the back of them to get into a massive group shot. But it was too late. The flash went off and I was perched in the back, hands raised in the air and tongue hanging out.
By the time she could try and have a go at me, I had disappeared into the Mens room laughing my ass off.
(Which by the way... freaked the fuck out of the guys who were already in the toilets. I was so shitfaced and it was such a good photo bomb, I just couldnt stop laughing. All the way during my piss, to the sink and back out again. Fuck knows what they thought of me LOL)
It was getting a bit late now and we decided to call it a night and go grab some food. Of all places, we ended up at a McDonalds.
Blinded by absolute fucking fury at the LIMITED MENU due to the post midnight visit, I ended up last to order and stuck with a cold big mac, that had been cooked by Captain Cockend.
During this time, Tony and Dan had somehow got riddled into a conversation with 3 retarded women, barely able to stand let alone talk sense. Fascinated by the fact that Dan's job title of 'Ambulance Technician' didn't mean he fixed computers, they asked him about what he usually does...
Drunk girl 1 "So you save peoples lives then?"
Dan "Umm sometimes, I do all sorts, deliver babies..."
Drunk girl 2 Interupts "OMG you deliver babies?"
Dan "Yeah but not very often..."
Drunk girl 1 "So what do you mostly do then?"
Dan "Pretty much going around picking up drunk women"
Me "Bit like now.."
Tony "LOL"
So, after we managed to fuck them off, we realised we had the 1.2 mile bastard up hill walk home of death. Intent of not being pussys and getting a taxi, we walk on.
After having a weird confrontation with some woman who to me looked completely off her tits on drugs, I was informed that I had just been offered sex by a prostitute.
The garbled mumblings of said crack head was in fact, as heard by Dan and Tony was "you want some sex?"
I had no idea what she was saying and just kept saying "EH? what? HUH?" but she soon lost interest.
So, we eventually got back, just after 2am I think. It had been a great night, completely unexpected.
Me and Tony crashed in the living room on respective spare mantress and sofa. I remember thinking that I was gonna struggle getting up in the morning. Then I got a facebook wall comment from Jenks up in North scotland, lashed off his tits saying he ought really go bed, with it being 4.50 am.
My last thoughts before catching some winks : ROLL ON EDINBURGH!
To be fucking continued...
In the next few paragraphs, I'm going to try and explain how I went from "Ok, so, Curry, then a couple of beers and up early for edinburgh"... to being propositioned by a prostitute at 2am.
So, Tony finished work earlier than anticipated, and we agreed to blast off at 2pm. The journey up there was pretty uneventful, just mainly me giving Tony some belly laughs at my recent failings with women.
The M6 turned into a bitch on the last stretch with paranoid cock ends braking for no reason and causing everyone else to brake and slow the whole motorway down. But all in all, we didnt do too bad and got there in about 2 and a half hours.
Dan rustled up a nice Chicken Balti + Naan for us all which was awesome, even if I dropped most down my fucking white top. Best of all though was the bottle of Lambrini he had got in. Legendary.
Now all you tossers saying 'Oooh lambrini girls are we?' Well let me remind you, the slogan goes 'Lambrini girls just wanna have fun'. YES it does say girls. But 'Lambrini guys just wanna get shitfaced quick at home'.
Tony was well up for a strong night out, but after I reminded him of the intended plan of leaving early doors saturday to get to Edinburgh, we quickly realised that it would be better to stay in or just take it easy.
Fast forward 2 hours and we're completly shit faced in an 80s bar. That went well then.
Before this, we did actually manage a couple of hours of responsible drinking, went to a few bars in the centre and then headed down to the gorgeous and trendy Albert Docks. This is a picture of the entrance I took 7 months ago on New Years Eve.After being in a few places, it became quite clear that we were going to stay on it and get smashed.
There were a lot girls out who were ridiculously covered in fake tan. It was outrageous. However, I landed myself in it with this the first of many great quotes of the weekend:
Me - Shit me, talk about going overboard with fake tan?
Tony - Mate shes half cast?
So, as usual when we are blazing, we decided to find somewhere to have a dance. We are massive fans of Reflex bars, so when we were walking down a street and a girl pounced on us telling us the bar she worked for was having a special offer on drinks AND it was 80's themed, we bowled in.
Buy 1 get one free on VK's was the offer, so we got quite a few of them in.
We must of been one of the youngest groups in there. The place was mainly full of the older generation. At first we were a bit worried but it was blantantly obvious we were the best looking bastards there. So we stayed. LOL
I had this idea when I took a pervy voyer shot of this ridiculous womans crotch. Judge me if you want, I did it cos its fucking funny.
Oh yes, the classic dance moves were there. Bad spins, leeshes, mardy dancing and even a new move called the butterfly net that I came up with.
We also tried to Photo bomb a big group of girls. They were a bright bunch and one of them saw me trying to ninja around the back of them to get into a massive group shot. But it was too late. The flash went off and I was perched in the back, hands raised in the air and tongue hanging out.
By the time she could try and have a go at me, I had disappeared into the Mens room laughing my ass off.
(Which by the way... freaked the fuck out of the guys who were already in the toilets. I was so shitfaced and it was such a good photo bomb, I just couldnt stop laughing. All the way during my piss, to the sink and back out again. Fuck knows what they thought of me LOL)
It was getting a bit late now and we decided to call it a night and go grab some food. Of all places, we ended up at a McDonalds.
Blinded by absolute fucking fury at the LIMITED MENU due to the post midnight visit, I ended up last to order and stuck with a cold big mac, that had been cooked by Captain Cockend.
During this time, Tony and Dan had somehow got riddled into a conversation with 3 retarded women, barely able to stand let alone talk sense. Fascinated by the fact that Dan's job title of 'Ambulance Technician' didn't mean he fixed computers, they asked him about what he usually does...
Drunk girl 1 "So you save peoples lives then?"
Dan "Umm sometimes, I do all sorts, deliver babies..."
Drunk girl 2 Interupts "OMG you deliver babies?"
Dan "Yeah but not very often..."
Drunk girl 1 "So what do you mostly do then?"
Dan "Pretty much going around picking up drunk women"
Me "Bit like now.."
Tony "LOL"
So, after we managed to fuck them off, we realised we had the 1.2 mile bastard up hill walk home of death. Intent of not being pussys and getting a taxi, we walk on.
After having a weird confrontation with some woman who to me looked completely off her tits on drugs, I was informed that I had just been offered sex by a prostitute.
The garbled mumblings of said crack head was in fact, as heard by Dan and Tony was "you want some sex?"
I had no idea what she was saying and just kept saying "EH? what? HUH?" but she soon lost interest.
So, we eventually got back, just after 2am I think. It had been a great night, completely unexpected.
Me and Tony crashed in the living room on respective spare mantress and sofa. I remember thinking that I was gonna struggle getting up in the morning. Then I got a facebook wall comment from Jenks up in North scotland, lashed off his tits saying he ought really go bed, with it being 4.50 am.
My last thoughts before catching some winks : ROLL ON EDINBURGH!
To be fucking continued...
Friday 10 July 2009
and here we....go
Stop what your doing. This is important.
Its the weekend. We are about to LASH on.
In just a few hours, it begins.
The MOTHER of all weekends.
The Father of all pissups.
The sister of all things incest.
The brothers come back together for the first time in nearly 6 months.
Its gonna be big.
Its gonna be funny.
And its going to be fucking clever.
Right, enough statements. Today has already been pretty fucking funny. I got dragged into a meeting for work at Birstall Golf Course. A breakfast meeting to go through this quaters targets and incentives.
Breakfast was on the house for all who attended. Boss Richard was on scarily witty form for the time of day. Bens chair collapsed from underneath him just as he had finished eating. LOL
The journey back to Melton was equally funny with things being thrown out the window and me and Calum having a pretend fight in the front seats with Ben laughing in the car behind. good times.
I might post more later once we are in the Pool, but depends on what we get up to. If not, I'll have a full account posted up by Monday evening.
Fuck the lot of you.
PS Hi Lyndsey :)
Thursday 9 July 2009
I love it when a plan comes together
Don't you? Was talking with Benjamin this morning. I had a massive thought orgasm on the way to work with something I could do on here.
The idea is to make a video about dating tips. Knowing my luck with women, it could in fact be brilliant. In a completely useless way.
I do love making short movies and I have a back catalogue of stuff on a computer somewhere that I might dig up and show you all one day. I'm jotting down ideas as I type this about what sort of content to include on this video.
I'm posting a blog about it as I'd like some input, pref by email rather than the comments section as to keep things a surprise until the video is ready.
ALSO check out the new movie 'District 9'. Its out end of august / early september. It looks the SHIT. That means its gonna be good. Shit = bad, but THE SHIT = great.
The idea is to make a video about dating tips. Knowing my luck with women, it could in fact be brilliant. In a completely useless way.
I do love making short movies and I have a back catalogue of stuff on a computer somewhere that I might dig up and show you all one day. I'm jotting down ideas as I type this about what sort of content to include on this video.
I'm posting a blog about it as I'd like some input, pref by email rather than the comments section as to keep things a surprise until the video is ready.
ALSO check out the new movie 'District 9'. Its out end of august / early september. It looks the SHIT. That means its gonna be good. Shit = bad, but THE SHIT = great.
Tuesday 7 July 2009
topless tuesday
Indeed. Its the law I'm afraid ladies. Moses says so.
Anyways, todays blog is some background info for you all regards the 'Booze Crew'. BTW on a side note, I'm feeling I need a better name for us than Booze Crew. It just doesn't slide off the tongue well. I've just come up with Beer Bandits. Thats a bit better. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE.
Anyways, todays blog is some background info for you all regards the 'Booze Crew'. BTW on a side note, I'm feeling I need a better name for us than Booze Crew. It just doesn't slide off the tongue well. I've just come up with Beer Bandits. Thats a bit better. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE.
The contenders:
Tony. My cousin. He's wearing an afro for fucks sake.
Dan. One of my oldest friends. As in, known him a while. He's not like...65 years old. This is the best pic I have of him.
Jenks. He's a fucking pilot. Show some respect.
Me. I own this mother fucker.
So, the booze crew officially started I'd say back in November 2005 when 4 close friends decided our home town wasn't the centre of the fucking universe.
The plan was to visit and appreciate awesome uk towns and cities, then get shit faced in them and stop the night. Between the four of us we have so far conquered Birmingham (3 times no less), York, Sheffield, Leeds, Newquay and Liverpool.
This weekend see's the turn of Edinburgh. Its going to be our biggest effort yet - including a quick speed binge in Liverpool on the way up.
Its a round trip of approximately 700 miles for myself and Tony. Dan is currently in Liverpool, making sure we have something to drink on Friday night, and pre ordering the dirtiest curry possible.
Jenks is at his RAF base 3 hours north of edinburgh, knocking one out in anticipation of sharing a bed with one of us fine gents. JUSTICE!
Accomodation is booked. Thanks to said pilot, he's managed to find us a sweet digs in the form of a couple of apartments. Apartments ARE THE WAY FORWARD.
Reason being, the first few times we did this, we got regular hotel rooms. These are fine if you are on a speed binge, but when you have a bit of time to spare, getting an apartment means you can all stay together, and enjoy the whole weekend as a group rather than splitting off to your own rooms. You can chill out in the living room and watch tv, have a few beers. Maybe even throw something at Jenks when he bursts in completely fucking naked as usual.
I seriously CANNOT fucking wait. Friday afternoon will see myself and Tony cruise to Dans place, then onwards to the burgh early saturday morning. Not looking forward to the drive back sunday, but Dan has been kind enough to take some driving hours off me.
I haven't received any more letters yet, so NO readers letters section today. Unless I get anything later.
Also, can you start leaving some fucking comments? Its not hard is it? I know people are reading it cos my view counter is going up. You bunch of bellends.
Sunday 5 July 2009
Letters from the readers
LOL yes folks, as promised, here is the first proper readers letters post. Lets hear from the first person:
"
Dear Chris...
Me and my wife have been having trouble in the bed room and we have both put it down to the ridiculous amount of pubic hair I have growing around there. My wife says its like going down on a palm tree thats been shat on by an elephant. Not the nicest description I've ever had for my penis. So after this embarrasing embargo, I decided to give it some thought to shave them off to see if there will be any improvement. I have heard that it can be quite painful and irritating. Is there any advice you can offer about my predicament? Should I shave? Should I not and let my wife fuck off with the Turk from the kebab shop? Any advice would be appreciated.
Many thanks
Annonymous, Notts
"
Riiiiiiiiiiight.... OK. First things first, 'Annonymous'??? I only know one guy from Nottingham JOHN, you fucking weirdo? you arent married? so who you humping now hmm? You dirty bastard.
Pubic hair is tricky mate, TRUST ME. Don't go shaving it into a fucking shape or nothing. Not mentioning any names YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And don't shave it all off. You don't wanna drop your kegs and look like a 10yr old boy. Plus if you shave it all off, when it grows back its painful and itchy. I'VE HEARD. Just keep it tidy. Its common sense really. OH AND be careful not to leave evidence behind in sinks / toilets where ever the fuck you do it. I'm also sensing the Kebab shop guy has hurt you in the past. GET OVER IT. I'm sure you can buy a DIRTY DONER somewhere else.
"
Dear Chris...
Me and my wife have been having trouble in the bed room and we have both put it down to the ridiculous amount of pubic hair I have growing around there. My wife says its like going down on a palm tree thats been shat on by an elephant. Not the nicest description I've ever had for my penis. So after this embarrasing embargo, I decided to give it some thought to shave them off to see if there will be any improvement. I have heard that it can be quite painful and irritating. Is there any advice you can offer about my predicament? Should I shave? Should I not and let my wife fuck off with the Turk from the kebab shop? Any advice would be appreciated.
Many thanks
Annonymous, Notts
"
Riiiiiiiiiiight.... OK. First things first, 'Annonymous'??? I only know one guy from Nottingham JOHN, you fucking weirdo? you arent married? so who you humping now hmm? You dirty bastard.
Pubic hair is tricky mate, TRUST ME. Don't go shaving it into a fucking shape or nothing. Not mentioning any names YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And don't shave it all off. You don't wanna drop your kegs and look like a 10yr old boy. Plus if you shave it all off, when it grows back its painful and itchy. I'VE HEARD. Just keep it tidy. Its common sense really. OH AND be careful not to leave evidence behind in sinks / toilets where ever the fuck you do it. I'm also sensing the Kebab shop guy has hurt you in the past. GET OVER IT. I'm sure you can buy a DIRTY DONER somewhere else.
bangers AND mash
Last night I had one of the best sausage and mash dishes ever. Home made with real potatoes. That might be the problem you see, as I'm used to having sausage and SMASH. Its just easier and quicker to get done. And I always make smash with a bit of milk and butter to try and make it seem more.... real?
Anyways, it wasn't just the real mashed potato. There was also onions in the gravy. NOT onion gravy, just normal gravy, with onion in. Just worked. OH AND MUSHY PEAS. They were from a tin though. But still. It was greatness. I can't take credit though I didn't make it. Mum did. She wins.
Cold is definitely on the recess now. Its difficult to tell on days like today with having hay fever as well. I estimate a full recovery by my next day off (Wednesday).
Working on a sunday is not all that bad. There's plenty to look at on the interwebs when all other jobs are done and no customers to annoy. Today I found a cute video of a endangered animal being tickled. check it out, its awesome.
Animal in question is called a 'Slow Loris' apparently. They are listed as being endangered, and they are also slightly dangerous, as they can produce toxin that can be transfered by a bite or a lick. But this little guy in the video is just absolutely adorable.
I might go and catch some of the wimbledon final if it stays quiet at work. It's been busy up until now which is why I'm now doing this entry.
I did receive a letter from a reader that I shall post up later tonight. Think there are many of you who will find it insightful. Everyone else will find it utterly ridiculous, and retarded.
Anyways, it wasn't just the real mashed potato. There was also onions in the gravy. NOT onion gravy, just normal gravy, with onion in. Just worked. OH AND MUSHY PEAS. They were from a tin though. But still. It was greatness. I can't take credit though I didn't make it. Mum did. She wins.
Cold is definitely on the recess now. Its difficult to tell on days like today with having hay fever as well. I estimate a full recovery by my next day off (Wednesday).
Working on a sunday is not all that bad. There's plenty to look at on the interwebs when all other jobs are done and no customers to annoy. Today I found a cute video of a endangered animal being tickled. check it out, its awesome.
Animal in question is called a 'Slow Loris' apparently. They are listed as being endangered, and they are also slightly dangerous, as they can produce toxin that can be transfered by a bite or a lick. But this little guy in the video is just absolutely adorable.
I might go and catch some of the wimbledon final if it stays quiet at work. It's been busy up until now which is why I'm now doing this entry.
I did receive a letter from a reader that I shall post up later tonight. Think there are many of you who will find it insightful. Everyone else will find it utterly ridiculous, and retarded.
Saturday 4 July 2009
New CD and the big E!!
HOLY SHIT I've changed the CD in my car. This is mainly down to the fact I have fallen in love with 'The Veronicas'. Physically that is. Yep, I like their song called 'Untouched', but I'm more actually in love *with* them. If I was to describe my ideal woman it would be either of them. Evidence:
You see what I mean? I can't even decide which one is my favourite. Don't make me choose. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's too difficult. Seriously. OK THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
I've been poorly sick this week with shitty man flu. Normally I can deal with man flu and I take it like a man but this little era of illness was a lot worse that usual.
And no its not swine flu.
I dont think.
Anyways, I feel like I'm on the mend today, didn't feel as shitty this morning and feel even less shitty now but still feel shittier than I usually feel even when I'm having a shitty day at shitty work.
Love interest DONE
illness DONE
Right next on my todo list was to briefly talk about recent events not to do with fantasies of brunettes or fevers.
This week has travelled along pretty fast. Not a great deal to report. Havent been on any boozy nights since the 'Dropped Trou' incident. Wednesday night I went to see Ollie Lewin as it was recently his 21st birthday. Turns out this particular evening was a 'Family and Friends' birthday pool party, which was great fun. Had a good laugh with everyone and we messed around playing some really funny games. I hadn't seen Olly for aaaages, used to play a bit of guitar with him in a band that never really got off the ground properly, he's a sound chap. Hopefully be seeing more of him soon.
Thursday, Friday and tonight have mainly been spent sleeping / chilling out trying to feel better.
Tomorrow is my 2nd Sunday working in a row. Reason for this idiocracy is as follows...
recent events DONE
Soooooo NEXT weekend (9,10,11th) the BOOZE CREW are making their longest journey EVER! Just for shits giggles n beverages.
Edinburgh is the destination and blazing is the goal. Digs are being sorted as we speak and we are hoping to set sail thursday or friday evening. I wont go into any more detail as that would steal thunder from the POST Edinburgh blog entry.
future plans DONE
So thats about it for now. I've had a great idea btw. My future blog entries will include some sort of 'Letters Section'. Basically, in the style that you get in many popular publications... I shall copy and paste a letter I get from a blog reader, and also include my response.
My reason for this is because I actually received an email this week about my blog. As I havent decided on the format of said future section, I shall simply tell you the reader had requested that I make more regular updates, and maybe 'jump into the 21st century' and update my blog via my phone, twitter/facebook style...
so, in response I say...
Fuck You.
You see what I mean? I can't even decide which one is my favourite. Don't make me choose. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's too difficult. Seriously. OK THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
I've been poorly sick this week with shitty man flu. Normally I can deal with man flu and I take it like a man but this little era of illness was a lot worse that usual.
And no its not swine flu.
I dont think.
Anyways, I feel like I'm on the mend today, didn't feel as shitty this morning and feel even less shitty now but still feel shittier than I usually feel even when I'm having a shitty day at shitty work.
Love interest DONE
illness DONE
Right next on my todo list was to briefly talk about recent events not to do with fantasies of brunettes or fevers.
This week has travelled along pretty fast. Not a great deal to report. Havent been on any boozy nights since the 'Dropped Trou' incident. Wednesday night I went to see Ollie Lewin as it was recently his 21st birthday. Turns out this particular evening was a 'Family and Friends' birthday pool party, which was great fun. Had a good laugh with everyone and we messed around playing some really funny games. I hadn't seen Olly for aaaages, used to play a bit of guitar with him in a band that never really got off the ground properly, he's a sound chap. Hopefully be seeing more of him soon.
Thursday, Friday and tonight have mainly been spent sleeping / chilling out trying to feel better.
Tomorrow is my 2nd Sunday working in a row. Reason for this idiocracy is as follows...
recent events DONE
Soooooo NEXT weekend (9,10,11th) the BOOZE CREW are making their longest journey EVER! Just for shits giggles n beverages.
Edinburgh is the destination and blazing is the goal. Digs are being sorted as we speak and we are hoping to set sail thursday or friday evening. I wont go into any more detail as that would steal thunder from the POST Edinburgh blog entry.
future plans DONE
So thats about it for now. I've had a great idea btw. My future blog entries will include some sort of 'Letters Section'. Basically, in the style that you get in many popular publications... I shall copy and paste a letter I get from a blog reader, and also include my response.
My reason for this is because I actually received an email this week about my blog. As I havent decided on the format of said future section, I shall simply tell you the reader had requested that I make more regular updates, and maybe 'jump into the 21st century' and update my blog via my phone, twitter/facebook style...
so, in response I say...
Fuck You.
It's a bit fuckin' hot
30th June 2009
Yep, sure, fantastic. Brilliant, cheers!
Twenty mother fucking eight degrees. That's what its supposed to be later on today. It was 22 degrees when I was wiping the sleep out of my eyes at 8.20am this morning. I feel for the other guys here at work cos I'm the only person with a fan sat on my desk. As you can see from the pic its absolutely glorious.
I saw a new facebook group called 'People who pretend to be various wind machines.' I'm a fan.
DVD night last night and this time it was 'In Bruges'. I'm sure my mum has seen it and told me it was really good so I was eager to watch it. It made me laugh out loud a couple of times, and for some reason, certain scenes made me jump. Might of just been because I was tired mind.
Anyways, I would say it's worth a watch, but it won't be everyone's cup of tea. It can be quite bloody at times and the humour isn't in your face or politically correct... but that is my kinda thing... sometimes.
Below is a picture of the cricket field next to my work. Its pretty cool at the weekends to see the local talent smashing one out. Read into that as you will.
Oh, good news, the big boss man has emailed everyone at work that ties can be taken off today. They must either; be on properly, or not on at all. 'No half masts, or medallions on show' as he puts. Sure.
Calum says I'm a big...fat...giant Christmas cracker...full of shit jokes....but no party hat. I think that's surely a plus? Here is a spy shot of said accuser.
Yes, this blog entry is a bit more colourful than previous, as it contains pictures and lots of swear words. Don't come to expect this though, it will be a treat that happens every now and again, like eating meatballs from Ikea..... or sex.
I'm finding it strange that my hay fever has seemed to calm down over the past couple of days. I thought with it being a lot warmer, I would be suffering more. It could be down to the fact that C to the V (Calum Venn, strangly only 1 L but 2 N's) has been kind enough to pop me one of his pills of the Piriteeze variety. They didn't work a few weeks ago but now I'm considering changing my opinion.
That's all for now. I'm gonna go outside and stare at people driving by.
Yep, sure, fantastic. Brilliant, cheers!
Twenty mother fucking eight degrees. That's what its supposed to be later on today. It was 22 degrees when I was wiping the sleep out of my eyes at 8.20am this morning. I feel for the other guys here at work cos I'm the only person with a fan sat on my desk. As you can see from the pic its absolutely glorious.
I saw a new facebook group called 'People who pretend to be various wind machines.' I'm a fan.
DVD night last night and this time it was 'In Bruges'. I'm sure my mum has seen it and told me it was really good so I was eager to watch it. It made me laugh out loud a couple of times, and for some reason, certain scenes made me jump. Might of just been because I was tired mind.
Anyways, I would say it's worth a watch, but it won't be everyone's cup of tea. It can be quite bloody at times and the humour isn't in your face or politically correct... but that is my kinda thing... sometimes.
Below is a picture of the cricket field next to my work. Its pretty cool at the weekends to see the local talent smashing one out. Read into that as you will.
Oh, good news, the big boss man has emailed everyone at work that ties can be taken off today. They must either; be on properly, or not on at all. 'No half masts, or medallions on show' as he puts. Sure.
Calum says I'm a big...fat...giant Christmas cracker...full of shit jokes....but no party hat. I think that's surely a plus? Here is a spy shot of said accuser.
Yes, this blog entry is a bit more colourful than previous, as it contains pictures and lots of swear words. Don't come to expect this though, it will be a treat that happens every now and again, like eating meatballs from Ikea..... or sex.
I'm finding it strange that my hay fever has seemed to calm down over the past couple of days. I thought with it being a lot warmer, I would be suffering more. It could be down to the fact that C to the V (Calum Venn, strangly only 1 L but 2 N's) has been kind enough to pop me one of his pills of the Piriteeze variety. They didn't work a few weeks ago but now I'm considering changing my opinion.
That's all for now. I'm gonna go outside and stare at people driving by.
Oh what a night...
28th June 2009
Well, I'm pretty sure I had a great time last night. I wasn't that drunk, but I swear that I had such an amazing time, I remember laughing so much, I just can't fucking remember why?! lol...
Hopefully when I get back from work and speak to Dan he can enlighten me on things that happened. More on this later...
*update*
Yep, ok Dan has kindly reminded me of something in particular. For some reason I had been wanting to try this for a long time. Now bare with me cos the start of this story doesn't sound too great.
So, Tony, Dan and Me went to the toilet together.. LOL.... thats actually how the story starts. And nah, I'm not commenting on the next events as I'm looking forward to doing it again sometime, and I don't want to walk into a toilet and see some other fuckers copying us.
Night all
Well, I'm pretty sure I had a great time last night. I wasn't that drunk, but I swear that I had such an amazing time, I remember laughing so much, I just can't fucking remember why?! lol...
Hopefully when I get back from work and speak to Dan he can enlighten me on things that happened. More on this later...
*update*
Yep, ok Dan has kindly reminded me of something in particular. For some reason I had been wanting to try this for a long time. Now bare with me cos the start of this story doesn't sound too great.
So, Tony, Dan and Me went to the toilet together.. LOL.... thats actually how the story starts. And nah, I'm not commenting on the next events as I'm looking forward to doing it again sometime, and I don't want to walk into a toilet and see some other fuckers copying us.
Night all
You know when you're about to have one of those nights?..
27th June 2009
Yep, was all set for a quite one or two with MR DAN SNEATH of all people (back from the pool)...
and now my fucking cousin ANTHONY CROSS who is a MARRIED MAN now, texts me asking if I wanna go out on a DATE with him. Naturally, I said YES and I texted DAN telling him to get his HEELS on as now we both agree it's quite likely going to get MESSY.
I have come up with a mathematical equation.
((Liverpool MINUS Dan Sneath ) PLUS quite drink) PLUS Tony Cross TIMES Chris Pullen DIVIDED BY (7.30pm - 2am) = 7.5 hours of melton mowbray = FUCKED
Btw before any of you FUCKERS start questioning my incredible use of CAPITAL LETTERS, just remember....
CAPS LOCK is CRUISE CONTROL for COOL. (copyright royal *WINK* )
Yep, was all set for a quite one or two with MR DAN SNEATH of all people (back from the pool)...
and now my fucking cousin ANTHONY CROSS who is a MARRIED MAN now, texts me asking if I wanna go out on a DATE with him. Naturally, I said YES and I texted DAN telling him to get his HEELS on as now we both agree it's quite likely going to get MESSY.
I have come up with a mathematical equation.
((Liverpool MINUS Dan Sneath ) PLUS quite drink) PLUS Tony Cross TIMES Chris Pullen DIVIDED BY (7.30pm - 2am) = 7.5 hours of melton mowbray = FUCKED
Btw before any of you FUCKERS start questioning my incredible use of CAPITAL LETTERS, just remember....
CAPS LOCK is CRUISE CONTROL for COOL. (copyright royal *WINK* )
Shocked about MJ
26th June 2009
Yeoooow
Well, I was up til late-ish last night, watching the live news coverage of Michael Jackson. Couldn't quite believe it at the time, was just hoping that at any moment, a new report would come in saying it was all wrong. I was a massive fan of his music and his dancing. I have fond memories watching videos and listening to his music as a kid. I have a tape somewhere of me when I was about 4 years old singing over Thriller lol.
/865738768536253253685365830p['pl0'lp'pllp'p';p'pl';
sorry that was my work colleague. (ooooh work friiiiend)
So anyway. I found out that my Match.com profile was still visible on the internet. Obviously knocking everyone's socks off as I had no new winks lol. So I thought that I would try my luck elsewhere and have made myself the hottest new thing on plentyoffish.com..... lol
I'm loving the unreleased You Me @ 6 tracks atm, such as 'Sweet Feet', 'All Your Fault', 'Taste' and 'Promise Promise'. Check em out if you like that sort of thing.
Met up with Dan Lewin the other night, guy I used to work with here at Melton Honda, but he moved to another branch. Was awesome to catch up and finally meet his 4 month old son Josh. He's adorable and loves watching TV lol. Sounds like my kinda child.
Also watched a film on DVD with Sash recently that I had wanted to watch years ago but never got round to it. Its called Mr Brooks, and stars Kevin Costner. Was not too shabby at all I thought, and nearly pulled off a really ballsy ending but then chickened out. Still, was a nice shock/surprise even if they didn't stick with it. Watch it to get what I'm on about.
Was supposed to be playing football tonight at the local rubber crumb pitch but there are loads of people not playing due to injury or holidays etc so I don't know what to do. Probably take the opportunity to do nothing and get some rest!!
Good Day.
Yeoooow
Well, I was up til late-ish last night, watching the live news coverage of Michael Jackson. Couldn't quite believe it at the time, was just hoping that at any moment, a new report would come in saying it was all wrong. I was a massive fan of his music and his dancing. I have fond memories watching videos and listening to his music as a kid. I have a tape somewhere of me when I was about 4 years old singing over Thriller lol.
/865738768536253253685365830p['pl0'lp'pllp'p';p'pl';
sorry that was my work colleague. (ooooh work friiiiend)
So anyway. I found out that my Match.com profile was still visible on the internet. Obviously knocking everyone's socks off as I had no new winks lol. So I thought that I would try my luck elsewhere and have made myself the hottest new thing on plentyoffish.com..... lol
I'm loving the unreleased You Me @ 6 tracks atm, such as 'Sweet Feet', 'All Your Fault', 'Taste' and 'Promise Promise'. Check em out if you like that sort of thing.
Met up with Dan Lewin the other night, guy I used to work with here at Melton Honda, but he moved to another branch. Was awesome to catch up and finally meet his 4 month old son Josh. He's adorable and loves watching TV lol. Sounds like my kinda child.
Also watched a film on DVD with Sash recently that I had wanted to watch years ago but never got round to it. Its called Mr Brooks, and stars Kevin Costner. Was not too shabby at all I thought, and nearly pulled off a really ballsy ending but then chickened out. Still, was a nice shock/surprise even if they didn't stick with it. Watch it to get what I'm on about.
Was supposed to be playing football tonight at the local rubber crumb pitch but there are loads of people not playing due to injury or holidays etc so I don't know what to do. Probably take the opportunity to do nothing and get some rest!!
Good Day.
Excited for Avatar
24th June 2009
The whole thing was written and directed by James Cameron. This guy is a living legend. Some of you will recognise his name. For those who don't, this guy is a game changer. His portfolio includes:
People close to me know that I'm really excited about a film coming out later this year called Avatar.
The whole thing was written and directed by James Cameron. This guy is a living legend. Some of you will recognise his name. For those who don't, this guy is a game changer. His portfolio includes:
Terminator 1
Terminator 2
Aliens
The Abyss
True Lies
Titanic
Each of these films has had a great story, well directed and pushed the quality of special effects forward many years.
Avatar will be no different. Its out in less than 6 months, and only a select lucky few have seen footage. There is no trailer, no poster, and no stills available to the public. Many people have said it's going to feel like how you did when you went to see Jurassic Park at the cinema. People just don't realise what an amazing experience they are going to get.
Head over to Marketsaw.com to see some fresh sneak glimpses of the Avatar Cinema Expo afterparty, and hear some feedback on what people saw there.
It's my day off today and I was hoping to get out in the sun a bit. Its fricken' gorgeous.
New Blog LOL!
23rd June 2009
Ok so I haven't been on here since I reckon.... August 2006? Shit the bed. Nearly 3 years have passed. So whats changed?
Everything really. Me, my friends, my family. All different.
There are lots of thoughts going around my mind at the moment, so I will write them as they come to me. Ill try and seperate different thoughts into their own paragraphs, but I may miss the odd one. Mmm.... tits.
I'm not looking forward to birthdays anymore which makes me feel sad. Gone are the days it feels that other people prepare your birthday for you. I want to have a good birthday, despite not looking forward to it. But I can't be arsed to plan it. Good luck there I say.
Its summer and once again Hay fever is raping my eye sockets and tea bagging my nostrils. So far the 'one a day tablets' are no help at all.
What have I been up to? I struggle to remember but I always feel busy.
Went to see Transformers 2 on the Birmingham IMAX screen. Was looking foward to it immensly. The film was good, made me laugh, the action was awesome. The IMAX scene's were a let down compared to The Dark Knights though. I'd recommend you see it for the insane visuals.
*sniff*
I really miss my friends at the moment. However, there is a possible light at the end of the tunnel. Dan *might* be moving closer to home to complete his Paramedic course. Jenks *might* be posted further south in the RAF. The last time the booze trip crew were together was at Tony's wedding, end of February. It feels like an age ago, but then again there are cars on my forecourt that we have had in stock longer.
I enjoyed the opening show of Top Gear. Michael Schumacher as the Stig was a good laugh. In this day and age I think its a true testament to the show that no one still knows for sure who the Stig really is.
I love my 42" plasma TV, PS3 and surround sound.
We are half way through the year and I've only been to one BBQ. What is the world coming to?
Ice Age 3 and Public Enemies are released at the cinema next week. Shall be going.
I'm hoping to blog a bit more from now on. Please comment, it makes me feel good.
Ok so I haven't been on here since I reckon.... August 2006? Shit the bed. Nearly 3 years have passed. So whats changed?
Everything really. Me, my friends, my family. All different.
There are lots of thoughts going around my mind at the moment, so I will write them as they come to me. Ill try and seperate different thoughts into their own paragraphs, but I may miss the odd one. Mmm.... tits.
I'm not looking forward to birthdays anymore which makes me feel sad. Gone are the days it feels that other people prepare your birthday for you. I want to have a good birthday, despite not looking forward to it. But I can't be arsed to plan it. Good luck there I say.
Its summer and once again Hay fever is raping my eye sockets and tea bagging my nostrils. So far the 'one a day tablets' are no help at all.
What have I been up to? I struggle to remember but I always feel busy.
Went to see Transformers 2 on the Birmingham IMAX screen. Was looking foward to it immensly. The film was good, made me laugh, the action was awesome. The IMAX scene's were a let down compared to The Dark Knights though. I'd recommend you see it for the insane visuals.
*sniff*
I really miss my friends at the moment. However, there is a possible light at the end of the tunnel. Dan *might* be moving closer to home to complete his Paramedic course. Jenks *might* be posted further south in the RAF. The last time the booze trip crew were together was at Tony's wedding, end of February. It feels like an age ago, but then again there are cars on my forecourt that we have had in stock longer.
I enjoyed the opening show of Top Gear. Michael Schumacher as the Stig was a good laugh. In this day and age I think its a true testament to the show that no one still knows for sure who the Stig really is.
I love my 42" plasma TV, PS3 and surround sound.
We are half way through the year and I've only been to one BBQ. What is the world coming to?
Ice Age 3 and Public Enemies are released at the cinema next week. Shall be going.
I'm hoping to blog a bit more from now on. Please comment, it makes me feel good.
It starts here...
So this is my proper, new, grown up blog site. Decided to carry on with somewhere like here as it feels more accesible to the general public and people who I know who don't use facebook/msn etc.
I cant seem to export my current blog from msn spaces so I shall just post them as entries on here with the original dates at the top. Hope thats ok? Sure thanks.
I cant seem to export my current blog from msn spaces so I shall just post them as entries on here with the original dates at the top. Hope thats ok? Sure thanks.
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