Sunday 31 January 2010

An Ode to Honda

Well Fuck me. After just over 4 years, my time with my beloved Honda job has come to an end, 30th January 2010.

The site has been closed down due to it being too big for its boots. As in, not because we are doing too well, but the sites too big for just Honda. Its a real shame as its a lovely site, great location. Just wasn't meant to be!

What follows is a brief look back at, the who, what, why and WTF?!

The original crew consisted, from left to right: Myself, Dave Talbot, Dan Lewin, Mark Dickinson, Darren Doig and Lee Smith. This photo shows us in our characature form. 

Dave started 1 day after I did, and Dan showed us both the ropes of the job. Darren was our manager, and Mark was service manager and Lee was the Hyundai salesman. (LOL)


Me and Dan got on really well, had a great time working with him. Back in the day he had a black chavved up Saxo that had a new bodykit on that hadn't been painted yet. It gave us all lots of lols. 
As you can see, some days were slower than others. The pic on the right was one of the hottest days of the year. Fab lolley and a cup of water, sat outside in the shade. Win.

Not long after Dan left to go work closer to home at Mountsorrel, we were joined by Ben and Calum. Was weary of new people starting as I had got on with Dan so well, but thankfully, they were sound chaps, and neither of them were as good at selling cars as I am, so I was happy LOL.
Ahh. My own little corner of the world for 4+ years. That ass groove on the chair was hard work. Its amazing to think I literally sat in that chair for a good year. Its true, I worked it out.


The store room. Towards the end, this pit of POS from the past actually got quite hospitable. You could see the floor in there and everything. Good memories in that room though. One time we put as many massive plants in there as we could, closed the door and stuck a Monkey picture on the door. If only we could have gotten Jungle noises to play when anyone opened the door.

It was mainly used for a place to store stuff we couldn't use, such as this sign :


Ah, no blog is complete without some casual racism.  There's a few people I havent mentioned, and thats only because I don't have pictures of you, lol! Anyways. The past 4 years has been emotional, and I will miss it terribly. On the bright side, Calum and Richard are both coming with me to my new job!

Good bye Team Francis, Hello Team Marshalls.

Friday 22 January 2010

Review of the Decade

2010, so far its been a year of change people.

Everything was going hunky dorey.. til January 4th bitched slapped me in the face with the news that come the end of the month - I was out of a job.

Not exactly what I was expecting, seeing as 2009 was the best year since opening. ANYWAY...

A couple of weeks have passed since then, and luckily I've managed to secure employment as of 1st of February, phew.

SOOOOO I decided that this blog shall be a review of the last decade. Its quite a monstrous task. Lots of stuff to talk about. I might even break it down into sections. I know some of my readers are a bit slow*

*When i say slow, I'm just being polite. You know who you are. (John)


Year 2000. 17 years old. Full of enthusiasm and sperm.
I hacked my way through the end of my A levels, got my first full time job. I spent all my money on food and computer games. I turned 18 and had my first legal pint in the Fox pub on Leicester Street. Pint of Boddingtons. My god it was shit. Christ - to think I went there for my first 'legal experience'. I may as well have gone to Amsterdam and paid a midget for a blow job. At least they wouldn't need to kneel.

Factual tidbit: Conchord engine blows up on takeoff and crashes.

2001 was pretty eventful. My parents split up, started learning to drive. I went on a once in a lifetime Holiday to Austrailia and New Zealand. My cousin Tony moved in with me and mum, which I thought was ace and mum thought was terrifying. Terrorists played Jenga with some tall buildings in America. Tony moved out again and then I lost my virginity. Well... I say lost. More like dropped accidentally. I placed some ads on Milk Cartons but it remains a mystery to this day.

Factual Tidbits: File sharing program Napster was shut down. First iPod launched. Wikipedia went live.

2002. Im still living at home with my mum, but my girlfriend at the time moves in with us. Blimey that really worked out well. How we managed to all live together for 9 months is beyond me. My job role changed to a website graphics developer. Sounds awesome but I just basically fucked around with Paint programs.
Just as things hit boiling point at home, rather than breaking up... I decide to move out with her and get our own place.

Factual tidbit: President bush choked on a pretzel at the whitehouse and fainted.

2003. Living with my girlfriend, in our own place.... its fantastic! For about a month. Then I learned about Bills, and council tax. Food shopping. URGH. We were completely broke and pretty much lived on potatos and their various cooked/fried forms. Work promote me and as a result I get my very own company van! It's white, and I spent a week learning about how to be a White Van Man driver. I also started to play guitar this year.My 21st birthday was a surprise party, and so many friends were there. Had a really great time. Was only the day after when I found out I had paid for it all without my knowledge. FML

Factual tidbit: Xbox Live launched. Saddam Hussains statue torn down in the center of Baghdad.


2004 started off pretty shit. Me and the gf split up and we both moved back to our parents. After a brief attempt at making things work, it finished for good in April. I get back in touch with friends who I haven't seen properly for ages - and so begins possibly the best time of my life.  Getting smashed pretty much every week, having the greatest time, meeting lots of people. Driving to Newquay twice in a month was a highlight :) Bough my favourite car ever, Honda Civic Vti and drove around like a bastard all the time. Got into another relationship, but far more healthier than the previous.**ADDITION** Also saw cousin ZOE for the first time in about 10 years. Turns out shes actually pretty cool.

Factual tidbit: Massive Tsunamis strike indonesia.

2005 was more of the same. Great times with friends and the gf. Moved in with gf and my cousin Tony and his gf. My second time living with Tony - always a laugh, never any problems. The place we lived in was fucking rancid - but dirt dirt cheap. Eventually sold my pride and joy and then changed jobs and started working for Honda. New company car is a Automatic Honda Jazz. Things could only get better...

Factual tidbits: Youtube goes live. Crazy Frog ringtone advert gets censored from complaints that you could see the frogs penis.

2006 was a weird one. Work was good, didn't go out much though. Bought a Smart car with the money from the Civic, and was pleasantly surprised. Met all my friends from up Yorkshire way. Fantastic people, Ben, Vickeh, Sarah, Gemma, Nina etc ... Went on an all inclusive holiday to the Canary Islands, then had a massive bust up with the gf and we broke up. I move back into mums. AGAIN. Fuck sake.

Factual tidbit: Facebook blasted off. Zidane headbuts an Italien during the world cup.

2007 living with mum is actually ok. I sort out my stupid spending habits and crack on with earning money. Went to Amsterdam for a stag do, but was too chicken to smoke anything - so just tried some cake. LOL. Went out a lot again and had a lot of fun :D Turned 25 years old. Was emotional. I had champagne poured over me. I was so drunk at the time that I ran my fingers thru my drenched hair and then licked the excess champagne off my hands. Shameful.

Factual tidbit: Government announce a 2p cut in income tax. Maddie McCann is kidnapped.

2008 was the year of what if. Me and the ex thought that we had stopped a good thing, so decided to give it another shot. Moved into a really nice place - but it was quite expensive. Had a nice holiday in Tunisia, and a great house warming party. I tried to grow my hair long but I looked like a fucking twat. And I needed to loose weight, fast. Cousin Tony got proposed to and I was gonna be best man. Not best fat man. Things with the gf just wasnt to be, so I moved in with my work mate over Christmas.

Factual tidbit: Guy in America commits suicide live on webcam to thousands of viewers. Season finale?

2009 was pretty epic. Tonys secret stag do was one of the best weekends of my life. Their wedding was also fantastic. I need to get a copy of my best man speech. Everyone said I came across like I was gay. I laughed, and watched for myself. SHIT. I was totally fucking gay. No wonder I ended up in bed with JENKINS in the bridal suite. Dont worry - we had an erection barrier. Moved back in with mum AGAIN in march... I needed a place to go and she needed help - so it worked at the time. Had lots of good lads weekends, and work *WAS* going really well. Met a fantastic lady and looking forward to what it will bring :)

Factual tidbit: Michael Jackson died. Rage Against the Machine claim the music chart for Christmas no1.

OK... so that was my decade. From 17 to 27. Seeing it all written down like that - it looks good in places - but also kinda boring. I think I must of missed something out... honest!