Letters from the readers

LOL yes folks, as promised, here is the first proper readers letters post. Lets hear from the first person:

"
Dear Chris...

Me and my wife have been having trouble in the bed room and we have both put it down to the ridiculous amount of pubic hair I have growing around there. My wife says its like going down on a palm tree thats been shat on by an elephant. Not the nicest description I've ever had for my penis. So after this embarrasing embargo, I decided to give it some thought to shave them off to see if there will be any improvement. I have heard that it can be quite painful and irritating. Is there any advice you can offer about my predicament? Should I shave? Should I not and let my wife fuck off with the Turk from the kebab shop? Any advice would be appreciated.

Many thanks
Annonymous, Notts
"

Riiiiiiiiiiight.... OK. First things first, 'Annonymous'??? I only know one guy from Nottingham JOHN, you fucking weirdo? you arent married? so who you humping now hmm? You dirty bastard.

Pubic hair is tricky mate, TRUST ME. Don't go shaving it into a fucking shape or nothing. Not mentioning any names YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And don't shave it all off. You don't wanna drop your kegs and look like a 10yr old boy. Plus if you shave it all off, when it grows back its painful and itchy. I'VE HEARD. Just keep it tidy. Its common sense really. OH AND be careful not to leave evidence behind in sinks / toilets where ever the fuck you do it. I'm also sensing the Kebab shop guy has hurt you in the past. GET OVER IT. I'm sure you can buy a DIRTY DONER somewhere else.